That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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