I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
