I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
