Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
