Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
