The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
