FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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