nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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