When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
