Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Please, let me fuck your mom
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
