the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
