i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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