so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
