her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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