U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
