She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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