Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize