how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
