I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
