That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
