I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
