wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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