So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
