I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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