It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
