I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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