worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
