Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
