yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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