Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
