u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
