she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
