The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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