i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
