Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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