You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
