It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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