I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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