lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
