No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
