I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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