Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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