we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I want a musical about memes.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
