Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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