Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
