hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
