but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
