We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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