I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
