I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
