You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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